Run All The States!

Uff-da, I’m back in the game.

I’d originally signed up to run Fargo in May 2020 — ah yes, that mythical year when we all learned how to bake bread and cry in sweatpants. Like so many races, it was postponed, optimistically rescheduled for August 2020, then postponed again. I stopped holding my breath and started hoarding toilet paper like everyone else.

Fast-forward to fall 2021: it was finally happening! My first travel adventure of the COVID era. Would I remember how to travel? What’s a hotel again? Do I just grab any suitcase I like from baggage claim and hope for the best?

Naturally, one race wasn’t enough for me, so I signed up for the Go Far Challenge: a 5K on Friday night followed by a half marathon on Saturday morning. Triple the medals, triple the fun, triple the poor life choices? At least I still remembered how to run — thanks, lockdown existential crisis jogs.

First Stop: Red Pandamonium

Was packet pickup my first priority upon arrival? Of course not. I had a red panda to meet. I booked a special meet-and-feed experience at the Red River Zoo, and let me tell you — it was everything.

I met Waveland, a 4-year-old red panda girl originally from Chicago. She came with her brother, Sheffield—both named after Wrigley Field-adjacent streets. (Baseball + red pandas = a niche I didn’t know I needed.)

She was drooly, burpy, fluffy, and she held my hand. I tried to act cool, but internally I was screaming. She was so cute I almost passed out from joy. The keeper told me red pandas don’t like people much, so once the treats were gone, she immediately peaced out. Entirely fair.

After floating out of the zoo on a cloud of red panda magic, I stopped by Drekker Brewing for some carb-loading (aka beer), grabbed dinner, and wandered downtown. I even caught part of an outdoor screening of Wall-E. Is this… inner peace?

Friday Night: Let’s 5K!

Packet pickup was inside the FARGODOME. Not yelling — it’s really in all caps in all forms of communication. I asked the bus driver where to get off, and he said, “Oh, just by the McDonald’s, ya know.” Sir, I am not from here. I do not know. But thanks.

Inside, I easily grabbed my packet. Due to supply chain delays (prevalent everywhere in these uncertain times), race swag would be mailed later. But the medals? Oh, the medals were here, baby. I also picked up a North Dakota 13.1 sticker and giggled uncontrollably at anti-chafing wipes called “Butt Shield.” We’re off to a good start.

I walked the 2.3 miles back downtown because apparently I was trying to ruin my legs before race day. But it was such a nice day, and the route included a brewery stop and riverside sightseeing. Priorities.

Come evening, it was 5K time. Start and finish were inside the FARGODOME. Temp: 60s and breezy — great for running, mildly annoying for hair. The GPS on my watch got confused by the indoor start and recorded the run as “???” but I wasn’t concerned.

The course looped around NDSU and was delightfully flat. Highlights included a guy in a full Pikachu getup with Pikachu slipper-hands (he only spoke in “pika pika”), and two kids yelling “Let’s do it!” at the turnaround like they were heading into battle.

Back through the FARGODOME, I crossed the finish line and saw myself on the jumbotron. First medal of the weekend acquired!

Half Marathon Day: Thunderin’ Herd Vibes

Hotel shuttle to the FARGODOME = clutch. I got there 90 minutes early, just enough time to wake up, hydrate, and doubt my life choices. It had been a long time since I’d run a half. Did I even remember how to pace myself?

Inside was like a pre-race rave: lights, music, excitement. Bonus: real bathrooms, real seats, and zero pre-race shivering. Fargo, I’m already a fan.

The marathoners and 10K-ers went out first, complete with “thundering herd” sound effects because we were in NDSU Bison country. Then it was our turn at 8:00 sharp.

The route wound us through Fargo, across the Red River into Minnesota, and back. I got to high-five tons of kids, enjoy the sun, and admire the surprisingly robust crowd support.

I met a corgi named Cheddar, which felt spiritually important.

My calves started cramping because I definitely did not sabotage myself by walking for hours the previous days. Nope. Not me.

Eventually, we zagged back through familiar territory and made our grand return into the FARGODOME. Cue the lights, music, jumbotron: I had officially Gone Far. Three medals, one tired body, and zero regrets.

Post-Race: Donuts, Beer, and Bonding

After the race, I returned to the hotel, where a surprise farmers market was happening — sure, why not. I made a beeline to Sandy’s Donuts for a victory feast. From there, I could literally watch marathoners go by while munching on fried dough and sipping an obnoxiously large coffee. It was poetic.

Still not done walking apparently, I strolled to Junkyard Brewing across the river for some Oktoberfest fun. I ended up making new friends with fellow runners and their cheer squad. We swapped race stories over beer and laughter, which is honestly one of the best parts of this whole running thing.

I walked back to the hotel singing “Girls Girls Girls,” which had been stuck in my head since it played during the pre-race festivities. I unironically like that song, so I was fine with this.

Fargo, you were weird, wonderful, and exactly what I needed to remind myself why I love this whole race-travel-repeat thing. Oh yeah, dontcha know.

Weekend Misc:

• Childlike joy: Ate chicken fingers 3 days in a row. No notes.
• Local lingo: The race shirts and medals said “Uff-da,” which is Peak Midwest.
• Vegetable drought: Took me 3 days to find a green vegetable. It was Brussels sprouts, and they were glorious.
• Most on-brand beer: Fargo Brewing’s “Woodchipper.” Because of course.
• Most Midwestern moment: Someone told me to get off “by the McDonald’s” like that would solve all my navigation needs.
• Most awkward moment: The PA system didn’t cut the music in time for a moment of silence… so we all solemnly “HEYYY”-ed to Gary Glitter. Mortifying.
• Most confusing: A wildly enthusiastic cheering squad… with anti-vax signs. My brain couldn’t compute that combo. I just smiled politely, waved, and ran away faster.