What better excuse for a spring getaway than a race? Jack and I headed to Louisville for the Kentucky Derby Festival miniMarathon (aka a half marathon but with a cuter name). We built in plenty of time for sightseeing, indulging, and, oh yeah, running.

I was dealing with some mystery IT band issue (self-diagnosed via vibes), which meant every run started with me hobbling like a pirate with a peg leg before miraculously returning to normal. Other than that, I felt great, and the sunshine boosted my mood.

BBQ, Bourbon & Pinball: The Pre-Race Essentials

For the third state in a row, my top priority (after bib pickup) was BBQ and drinks. Louisville certainly delivered with smoky meats, local beers, and plenty of bourbon cocktails. The Derby itself was a week away, the city was buzzing, and the mint juleps were already flowing. I’m not into the horsey races, but I appreciate the general excitement in the air nonetheless.


Meats More meaty meats

Our hotel was smack in the middle of downtown, perfect for easy access to food, sights, and… excessive pre-race walking. Case in point: a two-mile stroll to Mile Wide Beer Co., where Jack and I, both pinball fiends, fed the machines a questionable amount of quarters as we sipped tasty beers. Jack even secured the high score on Total Annihilation, earning his place in pinball immortality (or until a 10-year-old dethrones him).

The expo was held at the Kentucky Exposition Center, a cavernous space that made the vendor booths look tiny. I snagged an orange cap (because orange is the best color) with the marathon logo — so I could cosplay as a marathoner despite completing half the miles.

From there, we hit the Evan Williams Bourbon Experience. Yes, I know Kentucky has way better bourbon distilleries, but this one was within stumbling distance, and we already had a full schedule. Four tastings, some cheesy history videos, and an obligatory photo with an oversized spilled bourbon glass later, we were feeling sufficiently educated.

A spontaneous stop at the Muhammad Ali Center (very cool!) rounded out the day before we carb-loaded with tacos and then beer flights at Against the Grain. (I keep saying “we,” but I’m the only one of us actually running. Jack’s race involves finding the best post-run beer, an equally noble pursuit.)

Race Day: Sunshine, Speedy Cowboys, and Churchill Downs

Past Me wisely booked a hotel a block from the start, so I rolled out of bed, hobbled for the first few steps, and got moving. A shirtless man in a cowboy hat sped past — I swear, there’s always at least one guy running shirtless in a race, no matter if it’s 0 degrees or 100.

The course was advertised as “flat and fast,” and considering the Derby is the “fastest two minutes in sports,” I was aiming for a speedy-for-me two-ish hours. The first few miles took us past Main Street landmarks and into Russell, aka “Louisville’s Harlem.” Trees were in bloom, the sky was a brilliant blue — spring was showing off. We cruised through Old Louisville, past grand historic homes and enthusiastic spectators, including one floofy Samoyed named Flurry and a dog offering “kisses” (which I sadly missed).

Race spectators, both human and canine

Runners in Old Louisville

Another view of runners in Old Louisville

Around mile 7 (I think?), we reached Churchill Downs, home of the Derby. I say “I think” because I somehow managed to miss most of the mile markers. Some were banners, some were chalked on the ground, but apparently, none were positioned where my wandering, race-addled eyes happened to be looking. A tunnel led us onto the grounds, where a hilarious stoplight alternated between “No baby no” (red) and “Go baby go” (green). We looped around the track, glimpsing jockeys and horses through a chainlink fence. I assume mixing runners and racehorses would be catastrophic (and poop-filled), so I was fine with the fence.

Inside Churchill Downs

Another view on the Churchill Downs track

Heading back through the University of Louisville and Old Louisville, I was feeling shockingly good. The crowd support was solid, though surprisingly lacking in rogue bourbon aid stations. Before I knew it, I was cruising down Main Street to the finish.

At the afterparty in Waterfront Park, I overheard a runner excitedly exclaim to another, “OMG WHERE DID YOU GET THAT?!” I assumed she meant some rare, elite snack — nope, just a Michelob Ultra. I chuckled as I sipped my own free (and entirely unremarkable) Mich Ultra.

Post-shower, we celebrated with more BBQ, beer, and, of course, a proper mint julep. Because, when in Rome Louisville…

Finisher's medal at Waterfront Park

Bonus Tourist Time

With one more day to explore, we checked out the Louisville Slugger Museum & Factory, easy to spot thanks to the comically enormous baseball bat out front. The factory tour was fascinating, and I got to hold one of “Sweet Lou” Whitaker’s bats – just hold, not swing (rules, ugh).

Another state down, and a race featuring a historic sporting venue? Not bad at all.

Me holding Lou Whitaker's bat at the Louisville Slugger Museum

Talk Derby to Me: Misc Highlights

  • Best sign: “I know poop is a thing with runners for some reason.”
  • Vitamin C overdose: More orange slices per capita than any race I’ve done. No scurvy for us!
  • Most confusing moment: The post-race party featured a cow (?) mascot pleading for someone, anyone to take their bag of Thomas’s Everything Bagels from them. So many questions.
  • Celebrity sighting: The Oscar Mayer Wienermobile! Sadly, it was locked, dashing my dreams of a joyride.
  • Bonus state: Walked across a pedestrian bridge to Indiana for a brewery stop. Because why not?

2018 Kentucky Derby miniMarathon medal with a glass of beer